It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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