This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
