I wish i was in the wii world.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Randomize
