About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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