First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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