walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
