He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
