Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
