Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
