I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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