Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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