his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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