I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize