I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
this just has baby written all over it
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
