The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
