how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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