I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
