I just saw a hot homeless man
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
