Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
