12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
i think i just lost a toe
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
