The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I want a musical about memes.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
