you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
