So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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