Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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