Whatcha textin bout Willis?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Randomize
