Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
