just survived the first fart of the relationship.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
