your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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