i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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