too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize