im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
