i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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