mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
What a dumb baby whore.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
