are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize