Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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