Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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