your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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