I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
