U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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