And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
My bed smells like the plague
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
