just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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