She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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