first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
