OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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