Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
i out mim tonsoeep
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