Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
