Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
