i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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