fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
