First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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