Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
