I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
