im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
