I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just found a bag of teeth...
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
