so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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