I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
The air taste purple.
Randomize
