can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
