Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
