im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
