Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
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