Me too!
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
