Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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