I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
