Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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